Remember Me

Two days ago my friend and I drove back down to San Diego, and listened to Eminem's new Marshall Mathers LP2.  It's a good album, but as fun as it is, it's nothing compared to his first LP.  Even with his new-and-improved technical abilities, nothing touches Eminem's early days.  Days when he was rapping over spooky beats like these.

draining the veins

When depression leaves you feeling hopeless, angry, guilty and anxious, it sucks.  Its like no other feeling in the world.  It tends to build up inside, pressurizing the hollow of your chest while simultaneously draining all clarity from your mind.  Whats left is a sort of dull equalization: dull, anxious pressure animates your heart and your brain.

In discussing the stress and anxiety associated with the darkest depressions, I am reminded of the song "Bad Meets Evil."  Eminem has a line about corrupting Royce Da 5'9, where he says he'll hoist his bed until the evilness flows through his veins like poisonous lead.  I've felt that evilness--mostly as a guilt and self-directed anger.

And when I'm drawing, I feel that lead in my veins.

And when I'm done--boom!--it's gone.  Out of my veins; onto the page.